Thursday, 13 October 2011

Mummy thots....

When your child becomes a teenager, your role as a parent becomes more is about being a friend and a is about being there when she needs you, yet not visible to the world as a dominant protecter. It is about letting her develop her self esteem & personality. Letting her choose but within safe guidelines. She will make mistakes but only Allah can protect her because she is no longer the little girl you carry around.
It is about gentle persuasion and support. 
Can you be that new parent? Can we learn to adjust?
Ya Allah guide us to be the protecters of our toddlers & infants and guide us to be guides to our older children.....

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Working with Solehah & TV HIjrah...

Sounds pretty glamorous to become a facilitator & sponsor for a reality TV programme.....oh boy...but when it involves Syariat & the rules which govern the dress and protocol of Muslim are open to a spectrum of human beings..some honest & tactful..but more often then not simply ruthless and insensitive.

What dictates perfection in a Muslimah who is set to be in the fore front? Huge parachute like clothes? Long hijab? Adherence to the concept of simplicity? Only hands & face to be seen? Simple makeup or none at all. Understanding the objective that the body figure must not be seen.....

We are talking lights, camera action here....we are talking about the grooming of young ladies with individual traits which make them influential for media & public.

Do we groom them to conform to the idealistic image which may not be palatable to many? How to weigh? We definitely want to maintain their chastity, their grace and feminism..we want to open their minds to see how the world outside live so that they can fulfill their duties.

Ya Allah please guide all that are involved to accept what is best for all the girls and all that are to go.....

ya Allah..i have not written for 6 months!!!!!!

Believe me so many things has happen over the last 6 months......where do i begin........

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

More FB thots....

told my PMR daughter - don't think it is just about studying...if u study hard but do bad things, Allah may return it in a way that you will be disappointed. u should remain in Allah's good books in all that you do, so that u will get the best as Allah is pleased with you. Best may not be straight As, it may even be a failure - but how u accept it and what comes After that is all in ALlah's hands. pray hard ♥
study gila-gila tapi x solat, perangai memalukan family....hari exam sakit kepala, demam, mind blank...itu dari Allah...jadi kena sama naik....not that my daugHter is nakal or anything but best to remind before.
ALso if you do fail even tho u have tried ur best...kalau hati bersama Allah, kita akan tenang and cari apa opportunity lain yang ada. I tHink all parents should take this route so that kita tak pressure diri + anak

Holistic is the name of the game - the pleasure of Allah as ur goal, Rasulullah as ur mentor & positivity as ur stand - ur set to succeed!
For the unmotivated child (especially the ones who are able to think for themselves..i would say 10 and above)
"If u do not study or do not strive to learn or perfect ur skills, the one who will lose out in the long run is YOURSELF."

If u have settled down to a life of playing & not doing homework & not cleaning your room - u must be prepared to face the future where u r not focused enough to finish any duty you are given.
You have trained your life to do what ever u want, whenever u want without responsibility to your family and yourself. How to succeed?
There is a time and place for everything.

If you don't discipline yourself as a pre-teen/teenager/young adult...chances are you will not as an adult...this applies to work, cleanliness, ibadah, responsibility, respect, focusing....hence the restless teen carries on in the uncontented adult....think about it....i find that myself like this...susah nak ubah amalan seumur hidup...
but it is not too late - if you do it as a family, the younger ones & those with good habits can help you channel positive energy and give you the strength to change bad habits....that is why many children can help to change their parents....aand why positive friends are the best friends......

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Original thoughts penned in FB.....

When an earthquake happens, you can run to another country or work to rebuild & get help from other nations. When the ultimate earthquake happens when the sangkakala is blown, you can only turn to your iman & amal to be your saviour. Prepare yourself for the ultimate earthquake - there is no where to run....
If we work towards redha from Allah swt in all that we do , everything becomes ibadah...constant reminders & istighfar will give us the strength to carry on....always reminded that we should walk forth with love and fear of Allah in our hearts..act as if Allah is watching you all the time...May Allah give us all the strength to face life....and forgive our past, present & future sins....
I am so small...all that i can do is invite others to join me in making the world a better place....

A true achiever will not put others down in order to prove a point. Just work on your own strengths & highlight your own capabilities.

A Muslim should treat life like a fitness Boot Camp - loads of hurdles & obstacles to endure to reach the ultimate reward

If you do something really different, and then suddenly everyone else is doing the same thing, either you have set a trend or everyone was inspired at the same time or you have great intuition of what is going to happen or you just did not notice everyone doing it until you started doing it...

life's value is what you design it to be. What do you value in your life? Values and ideals change but it should change to make your life more rich and enriching. Today it may be your children who are on top of your value list. Tomorrow your parents or your spouse.Give all the valuable persons in your life a chance to be part of your life.

trials are what happens to you when you least expect it. Hence the importance of iman & ilmu to keep you from reacting in the wrong manner

Sunday, 20 February 2011

my dad's passing in uks...

Assalamu'alaikum wth....

Thank you dear friends for visiting me and writing to me to share my grief.

There is so much i wish to share with all of you. How my children handled
the departure of their dearest grandfather( he had been baby-sitting them in
the evenings for the last 2 weeks of his life).
The feeling that this was all just a dream......
Probably it would have been different if he had been sick.
Probably it would have been different if he was really old.....
He was 55 ( just retired 2 months ago) and full of life.
He had lost weight, looked relaxed without the stress of work and
He was enjoying the times spent with my daughters. Which he would not have
had the oppurtunity to do if he was still working.
He had just done his umrah last Ramadahan and his Hajj earlier this year.
May Allah bless his soul. May Allah have mercy on him.
Semoga hajinya haji mabrur.....

What i realised throughout all this is that i have no regrets. The last 2
weeks of his life was filled with togetherness. We spent a lot of time on
being family. I still remember him giving a hug & a kiss the night before he
died. He was helping me with a working paper for a Munawwarah project. He
died peacefully, he looked exactly like he was asleep.

I believe that we should all appreciate the people around us. Love and
cherish. Of course we argue and have our misunderstandings...but we should
hasten to forgive and make things right. If you feel a burst of emotion,
show it and say it. Kadang-kadang ianya alamat yang ajal seseorang itu akan
tiba.It's just that we don't realise it.
Because if you don't, you may regret may be too late.
Allah akan mengambil nyawa setiap insan - it will happen to you, your
spouse, your parents, your child......we should all be does
not happen in chronological order.

Yang pergi tidak akan kembali. Tinggallah kami untuk meneruskan kehidupan di
alam ini. Doakan kekeutan kami. Doakan kesejahteraannya. Dan ambil iktibar
bahawa kematian boleh berlaku anytime any place any age. Just prepare

ina ali


Dear sisters....seems to me i have missed out on a lot of juicy (?!)
discussions. What with all the new issues at hand.....

Life has taken a new pace for me. Having to handle the trauma of losing my
dad and also having to be strong for my mother and my kids.
And life goes on.....
Exactly one month after my dad returned to rahmatullah, the WTC was
destroyed.....yet another domino piece falling in succession.

I remember feeling distraught when the riots were taking place in
KL...worrying how on earth my kids would survive a May 13 like curfew or
worse still a war.
Do you think our children are ready? Do you think we are ready?
Do we have the strength to face famine? To hide under ground? To live in
fear of rape and murder by 'crusaders'????
My mother was at the border of the Peshawar refugee
camps...about 7 years ago. The people live in mud houses. When it rains the
houses disintegrate and they rebuild after the rain stops....Can we do that?
Our children who fuss about skin on apples and no Mc Donald's Happy
meals....The same kids who insist on having 2 bantal peluks and wearing
comfy shoes.
We had Bosnian refugees living in our house..with tales of witnessing their
husbands blown to pieces in front of their eyes.

I once read a book about the wars in Europe. where they were forced to eat
horse meat and hide in the basement. Where the only source of water was 2
miles away. And was later polluted by dead bodies. Where the toilet was a
tin can in a corner. An dthe sewers were flooding into the basements....

And here we are...who fuss about hygiene and 3 square meals a day. Our
generation have not seen the like of the Japanese invasion. Nor the cloud of
13 May. They are all something distant.

And now..we see Malaysia on the list of US's terrorist gang.

I worry about in the event of war, how to explain to my kids they can't go
to the playground. That life has changed. Can they hack it????? Can we????

But is faith and taqwa which will save us all. Educate the
children and ourselves on redha ( not as easy as it looks...) and
compassion. To accept whatever is before you.

Ameera keeps asking me why toki had to die. And insists that if she puts
flowers on the grave toki will be happy and will bangun. How do you tell a 3
year old that life's little pleasures are no longer ours to share?

I am being so morbid. But i think we should see all this in the perspective
that a war is not so far fetched. Nobody imagined that someone would ever
dream of placing 2 planes in a skyscraper.

To remind everyone..including myself's a good time to read up on the
seerah and to read Surah Ahzab...about the perang khandak.

If this is the sign of akhir zaman..of the great wars....semoga Allah
lindungi kami and golongkan kami dalam mereka yang terselamat. Banyakkan
baca surah Kahfi to lindung us from the dajjal. And of course....solat hajat
to tolak bala from menimpa our families.

Sisters dear......i see death from a new light as someone so close left me
so suddenly with no sign.

YOu can die drinking a cup of coffee in your office becoz some crazy guy
wants to prove a point by sticking a plane's nose in your window. Or you can
escape the plane but die washed by lighted plane fuel rushing down the
elevator shaft.....

Or you could die lying on your bed.........wallahualam.....

Four Letter word called FOOD - uks archives...


I haven't been on-line for ages. TM-net sometimes does this thing to me.
Sometimes super efficient, Sometimes punyalah susah nak log on. So excus the
length of this.

My kids have this problem eating as well. Kalau boleh tiap-tiap hari nak
makan roti-canai. Sampai the ustazah in school tries to get roticanai for
the morning snack when my daughter is around.
All green stuff is a no-no. Except for broccoli and cauliflower. Maybe coz I
like to buy the 2 vege as they keep well in the fridge. (Maklumlah orang
business and no maid - masak erratically).
Yes, they love Honey Stars and Koko Crunch....that's okay if they have it
with milk. But gosh!!!!So manis!!!!Then again it has those Atlantis toys
now.....Sometimes they'll hound my husband for his Great Grains (mahal.....)
Why doesn't Quaker Oats came with toys?????
All 3 never did like bubur. Maybe I tak pandai buat. They ate rice from
about 9 months. Softer rice of course. And nasi impit with soup, nasi ayam
(good and healthy). Aisha loves rice though. She rather eat rice alone then
have ikan bilis in it.
An unfailing recipe inherited from my mom is - all things cooked in tomato
sauce and kicap and a bit of honey. You fry the nuggets, eggs, burger,
drummets, egg tofu whatever.... then tumis a bit of bawang. Add tomato sauce
and kicap ( it will must wipe the kitchen after). If you
want kuah add a bit of water but you must let it dry somewhat or else the
nuggets will not be crispy. Can also add broccoli (!!) or mix vege. Add
honey or sugar (sikit). And last add the fried stuff. The kids love it with
rice. And it is very fast to make. Takes about 10 minutes (while the rice
cooks in the microwave).
As I write they are screaming for pancakes and butter. At least
okaylah...sometimes they make me bake cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip
I have to eat out a lot - and the kids go to work with me. Sometimes, I can
cook i the morning. Other times its food from the restaurants next door.
Nasib Taman Tun has quite good shops. And Ayamas's chicken rice is quite
good and fresh.
Eating out is a nightmare. They always ask for Mac D's...did you know that
40% of Mc Donald's income comes from Happy Meals?????Must be many mommies
like me who like the free quality toys......and the feeling " as long as the
kids eat". My parents are going on and on about the contents in fast food
are not good for developing bodies and minds. And how each child is too thin
and too 'sihat'.Have they researched the development of their daughter's
sanity????Have you seen the new HAppy MEal ad..the one with the mom happily
going through her laundry coz the kids are happy????A bit more realistic
then the KFC guilty mom ordering the bucket and the kids turn up at the same

AAAAhhhh...I have a new chairback. Aisha just climbed up on the chair behind
me. How I wish I could do this in the privacy (?) of my office. I can't even
have the chair permanently here...she'll climb up ON the computer.

Back to food. I guess we have to persevere. HAve you ever gone through a
time when your kids would gulp down everything on their plate and lick the
gravy in your parents/in-law's house. So they pack you all the same food, or
you take the recipe and make it from scratch.......and they won't even touch
it at home????Even keropok is tops at the grandparent's place. But lacks the
flavour in our house????
Elisa, your kids seem to thriving, so i guess you have got your feeding
programme right. Thanks for all the tips on food.
And Irene thanks for the have gone through a lot aye????
Okay enuff said. I have to go pick up all the HAPPY MEAL toys lying
everywhere. Before someone steps on something, breaks it and asks me to buy
another HAppy Meal to replace it.


UKS again.....written way back then...

(My kids are the first children/babies I have handled as I have
no baby sister/brother. But we try very hard to handle everything on our own
without our parents. My husband thinks we are egoistic.......but they are
our kids. Betul, salah kita tanggung. Semoga Allah bantu.)
Sanity is history for me.
Half the time I am screaming at the kids. Or crying becoz they just do the
complete opposite. It's just been a psychological roller coaster for the
past 5 years.
Okay.....I have no maid. So the house looks like there is no maid but a
tired, cranky mom. My hubby is a dear. He helps a lot with the housework and
child care.He understood that if I got too tired, the currently
breastfeeding kid would have less milk. And the rest would be reprimanded
for everything. But you always feel guilty about staying home the whole day
and still burdening him with housework or 3 screaming, demanding kids. So
recently I took a once a week maid to clean the house. It was a gift of life
( for that half day she was around).
When I do work at my family's shop ( I do Marketing & PR for Sri Munawwarah
Design), I take the kids to the shops with me. I used to take all the kids,
or at least the breastfeeding one to fashion show practices. We would appear
at the hotel hall with a double pram and another one with food and toys and
colouring books. The models would take turns baby sitting. Crazy woman
kan???? I suppose I have that added advantage (Alhamdullillah) of working
with my family.Lately, we employed a day-help to baby sit the kids at the
shop so that I can do all my running around. But since things got a bit busy
at the shop and we have not enuff staff, she is now helping out in the shop.
And I am back with the kids at home.
This is long, isn't it.
Anyway. Coping is no joke. Especially since I was never cut out for
housework anyway. With one kid, i used to go out to the malls or visit
friends bila tension. But with 3, that is suicide.
The kids differ in interest. Syafiqa is very bookish. so , from age 18
months, she was into colouring and reading picture books.I used to download
all the print centres from which saved on buying colouring books.
Now she can read (age 4 and half) English, BM and Jawi. so she reads to
herself and her sisters. That helps me a bit.
Ameera (3 years) is very moody. Nothing can attract her attention, except
Disney videos. So she will watch all the Disney classics. To distract her
from so much TV, I get books and colouring books and toys which correlate
with the story. ( EG, Toy Story action figures, Ladybird Books on Toy story
and Toy Story colouring books.) I used the same method on Syafiqa. It keeps
them occupied, but we have to guide them comprehensively.
Aisha just runs around and asks for milk. And climb the chairs. And goes
through the drawers. And pulls out all the ironing i have done.
I also find that if I play teacher and ask them to do the same thing all at
the same time they are quite happy for at least half-an-hour. Then they
I look to books for a lot of support. Islamic books usualy make mothers seem
like angels. If angels can scream at the top of their voices. So I also read
all the Mat Salleh stuff which is more humane and then correlate them with
Islamic principles.
I recommend The Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers by Vicki Iovine. I think my
husband got it from
How can I write so much?????Well, Syafiqa has gone to tadika. Ameera
insisted on following. And the Teletubbies is on the computer ( Aisha is not
watching but she likes to listen to the sounds). Bliss....
Oh know my goal in life? To get all 3 to have their afternoon at
the same time.

Bye for now...

Breastfeeding advice

Alhamdulillah. There is so much support for breastfeeding now. I hope the
programme will be a success. As a veteran bottle - I have fully breastfed 2
of my daughters - and am still feeding my 14 month baby - I can tell you
that it takes a lot of moral support. and i am all ears. Especially with all
those bottle-pushers going around. They advocate that breastfeeding is
inadequate. And that there is insufficient supply of milk on the first few
days. and the baby will cry and cry... penny's worth...
1.You won't have lots of milk spurting out on the first day. And the baby
will still scream her head off on the first few days. It is medically proven
that the baby will lose weight in the beginning. And yes, breastfeeding
slows down the reduction of spite of all this you should
still stuff it in, so to speak. Let the kid suck. Believe me you will have
milk in 2 days. Sometime too much for you to handle even. Well, that's when
the breast pump comes it all my friend. And the baby will
suck every hour, even every half an hour during growth spurts. You have to
be ready to be bottle all that time.
2. You need lots of emotional and physical strength to do this. You have to
tell yourself that by hook or by crook you are going to pull this through.
For the Muslims...kena sembahyang hajat and banyak doakan. Becoz all this is
rezeki for your child. Even masa pregnant you have to exercise, massage and
read up about all this.Eat good food.... I think the meeting that is going
to be organised is TOPS!!!!I did not have this support when I breastfed my
first child 5 years ago. Even family told me to stop after a few months. But
I pulled it through 13 months. Up till I was 3 months pregnant. Itupun sebab
muntah teruk sangat.
3. when Allah said that each drop of milk the baby suckles comes with pahala
- it goes to show that it requires a lot of sacrifices on your behalf.
Nothing is easy. I went through mastitis ( sampai my breast bengkak and I
had to pump almost 8 oz of milk from the infected breast and dah bernanah).
I had to breastfeed through chicken pox, because my daughter refused the
bottle. And of course the little things like fasting and clothes to wear.
And bras.....And sleeping on your side for endless nights. ( My 14 month old
still hangs on throughout the night.....). And the understanding husband who
has to 'share' you with the baby. So , you see, it needs a lot of
understanding people to stop you from actually turning to the bottle.
4. Of cpurse, ada those who have to work. So maybe the idea of full
breastfeeding has to take a break. But if you can there are ways. I have
friends who bring the pump or sewa a pump at work. Even buys a small fridge
to keep it in at work. Or you can try and time breast feeding for nights.
There are lots of ways if you are serious. make things fair for those who really can't...I hope you have
exhausted all efforts. It does look simple. But it is not.
If there is a will, there is a way. Read as much as you can. Educate the
people around you - your husband, your parents, your in-laws. Prepare
yourself heart and soul...and go for these meetings on breastfeeding. You
may need a shoulder to cry on...especially one who has shared or is sharing
the same experience as you.

Last word.....when you deliver, get the baby to suck in the delivery room.
It is a beautiful experience. And tell the nurse FULL BREASTFEEDING. Not
even water...........

More later....

My first Ummikusayang entry in July 2001.....10 years ago...

Assaamu'alaikum..just joined today...hope to be able to contribute on all
the 'juicy' issues which have been troubling me...I have 3 girls aged 1, 3
and almost 5......if boys are supposed to be more active and nakal....Allah
give me the strength to face another male after the dad......
I have been through a lot.....full time housewife & mom, running a fulltime
business with the kids in-tow. Working from home with kids in my hair.
Running fashion shows (Busana Muslim) and fashion shoots and tv shoots with
kids in tow. No Maid......Baking cakes to sell and smocking dresses...with
kids jumping around.....Running shops filled with customers with kids
hanging at my feet. Having serious meetings with kids demanding ice cream
and vitagen.
Home schooling the kids so that they stop asking me to read to them 26 hours
a day.....
Maybe I should have become a lawyer in the first place.At least I could use
my lawyer skills for more lucrative arguments rather then..."this box of
colour pencils are mine !!!" (The current argument while I second
child has just stuffed colour pencils in a bottle of mineral water......)
Now comes my biggest trauma. Where do I send them to school????? So any
integrated Islamic school in Taman Tun-Bandar Utama vicinity???
Anyone who can help me is destined for syurga......

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

With Lauren Booth - hijab shopping @ Sri Munawwarah Design, Malaysia

Hjh Nasimah, Datin Wan Rose, Lauren, Dato' Tuan Hasnah, Haslina Ali, Wardina Safiyyah
Munawwarah Lifestyle Lounge, Sri Munawwarah Design

Lemon curd filled doughnuts...

Lemon Curd Filled Donuts
Old Fashioned Filled Doughnuts
2 eggs
1 c sugar
1 c half and half
4 c flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 tbs melted butter
Heat oil in deep fryer to 370
Blend dry ingredients, except sugar, in a bowl.
Mix eggs, half and half, extracts, butter and sugar until it forms a soft dough. Turn out onto a floured counter. Roll out about 1/4 inch thick and cut into rounds. Make a depression in the rounds with your thumb and put a tsp of lemon curd in the depressions of half the rounds. Wet edges with a little egg and press one unfilled round on the top of each filled round, pinching the edges securely closed, or crimping with a fork.
Fry at 370 until golden turning once. Drain and sugar.
Lemon Curd
1 1/2 c sugar
4 egg yolks
1 c lemon juice
2 TBS lemon zest
3/4 c unsalted butter
In a microwave safe bowl whisk egg yolks, sugar, juice, and zest if using it, until smooth. Microwave in one minute intervals until mixture is thick and coats back of metal spoon. Remove from microwave and add butter, a little at a time, wisking smooth after each addition. Store for up to 3 weeks.